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Sunday, August 30, 2015

It's Been Awhile...

Hi there. It has been some time since I've last wrote. The past few months have been hard....a lot has gone and and I feel as if I have grown up more now than ever before. I have noticed things changing faster than I've ever imagined; and to be honest...I'm scared. My life has been pretty repetitive the past (almost) six years and the past few months have been a hell of a lot different.

Some of my friends from high school are graduating this year, people are getting married, having children, moving out and away, and here I am just stuck in the same cycle day in and day out. I know that I am the curator of my circumstances but when I think about the future I'm scared. I want to branch out and meet new people...but am I ready for that? I want to think I am but can I live with leaving my family and friends behind? I don't really know, but time will tell. I should be finishing college next year and once I graduate, I don't know what my plan will be. I hope to be starting a new life with Gabe, but each day is tremendously different than the last. Who knows where I will be in one week let alone one year.

I keep telling myself I am ready for something new, but thinking about it makes me want to cry. Sometimes my emotions get the best of me and I don't know how to handle them. I am trying my hardest to work on them and keep them under control (I am doing much better) but I am just flat out scared. Life is truly an amazing experience and I do not want my fears to hold me back from anything. I want to wake up every day and be excited to simply be alive. I am forever grateful for waking up each morning. I just need to realize that with life comes change and there is absolutely NOTHING anyone can do about that. I need to accept it and find a way to adapt with whatever is thrown my way.

Sorry for the rambling, just a lot has been on my mind lately. Talk to you soon.

Love Always,
Melissa xo

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